No words
by Landgren
Summary: A story about getting attention, and the results thereof.
1. Chapter 1

Life, the universe and everything (C) God.  
  
Without any warning what so ever, here's...  
  
********  
No Words  
********  
  
Chapter 1  
  
---  
  
  
  
Two swimsuit-clad figures sped through the water, one in red, one in white. They were side by side, heaving themselves forward with great, powerful strokes. People at the poolside were cheering them on, not that either of them noticed. All the other swimmers were left far behind. This was a race of two.  
  
The finish line was coming up. Somewhere inside, the red figure seemed to find one more ounce of strength, and slowly, slowly started to pass her white counterpart. Then the edge was there, and she reached it with one precious meter to her advantage.  
  
Both girls clung to the edge of the pool, panting, catching their breath while waiting for the others to come in. The winner turned to face the defeated.  
  
"You're getting slow, Ayanami." she said, through gasps of air, pulling away her goggles and cap. Underneath were a pair of blue eyes and long, silky, red hair, adorning a slim face that shone of pride and not a small amount of gloating, lips curved in a patronizing smile. Asuka Souryu Langley, designated Second Child by the Marduk institute, pilot of Unit 02. The object of desire of almost all the boys at school. Not that she would date any of them, mind you. That would be below her dignity.  
  
Her opponent removed her goggles and blinked, staring at the results displayed on a screen above the pool. Her eyes were red, her skin almost white enough to blend with her swimsuit. There was no hint of emotions in her face, save the slightly parted lips. Rei Ayanami, First Child, pilot of Unit 00. Also class freak, albino and withdrawn on the verge of autistic. Cute, maybe, but regularly avoided by almost everyone.  
  
She looked back at Asuka.   
"Yes. A little." With that, she heaved herself out of the water. Asuka made a grimace and looked the other way. To her left, Hikari Horaki was floating lazily, eyes closed, taking deep breaths.  
  
"Damn doll, I can't stand her." Asuka said. Hikari opened one eye and glanced at her.  
  
"Rei?"   
  
"Yeah."  
  
Her friend flipped over and stood up, then shook her head.  
"I can't believe you're still angry at her for last Thursday. Aren't you being a bit childish?"  
  
"It's not about that!" Asuka snapped. Well, maybe it was. Just a little. Last Thursday had been rather humiliating. "I just can't stand her, that's all. She's always so damn patronizing. Acts like she's the only person in the world." Asuka snorted and looked over her shoulder at the object of her displeasure. "Just look at her. She wouldn't even be an Eva pilot if the commander wasn't hot on her. I bet she has a lot of 'personal training' at his place."  
  
"Asuka!" Hikari exclaimed. "That's gross. What's the poor girl done to you anyway? It's not like she's ever had a chance to insult you or anything. I mean, she's rarely said more than five words at once to you."  
  
Asuka frowned, but said nothing. She was watching Ayanami. She was standing some distance away from the other girls, staring out through the poolside windows. Her cap was removed, and her hair, cut just below the jaw, hid all features save for the thin line of her mouth. Her hair was coloured light blue, a colour that certain rumours claimed to be her natural. It was still just a rumour, since none of the girls in the class had bothered to get close enough to confirm it. Asuka's frown deepened.  
  
"Fuckin' doll." she muttered.   
  
---   
  
Last Thursday was actually what it was all about. Asuka had always been more or less irritated by Ayanami' strange behaviour. The girl rarely spoke, but when she did she always said exactly what was on her mind. This tended to kill any and all attempts of conversation made in her presence. She wasn't particularly good in school, except for gymnastics, and the teachers found her just as strange as her classmates did. She didn't have many friends, probably none at all in school, and the only person she talked to in anything but single sentences was the commander. And she never, ever showed as much as a single emotion at anything.   
  
Hikari's opinion was that this was a sort of self-preservation, a way for Ayanami to shield herself from a harsh reality. An attitude that made her an outcast, while at the same time making her able to cope with it. Hikari was sure that Ayanami had had a very tragic childhood, and that this was the only way she knew to defend herself.  
  
Since last Thursday though, Asuka knew better.  
  
---   
  
It had been a stupid mistake on Asuka's side. Not that she would ever admit it. They had had swimming on PE again. Asuka had made a running dive into the pool, without bothering to check if anyone was there. Ayanami had been, and Asuka had hit her as she went in. Pretty bad, too. It was pure luck the First Child didn't break any bones. Asuka had gotten away with a sore wrist.   
  
After they had dragged the half-drowned girl out of the water, the teacher was furious. Asuka couldn't remember half of what the woman said, but knew she didn't want to hear it ever again. It had been shocking to se the normally calm PE teacher so mad. Then she had made Asuka apologize to Ayanami.   
  
But as she stood there, blushing enough to match her hair, still scared out of her mind from being chewed out by the teacher, stuttering out an apology to Ayanami who had just finished coughing up a few gallons of water, the albino just stared at her. She wasn't frightened by her near-death experience, she wasn't moved by the concern everyone suddenly showed her, she wasn't glad to have Asuka apologize or spiteful to see the queen of school being put down in front of her. She just looked at Asuka with that blank face of hers, and nodded. And twenty minutes later she was back in the pool and swimming like nothing had happened.  
  
She really didn't care. It wasn't an act she put on, she honestly did not care. Realizing this, Asuka finally understood what it was she couldn't stand about the blue-haired girl. And realization only made it more obvious and even more irritating.  
  
Ayanami didn't care about _her_. Sure, there were many persons people didn't care about, but she was Asuka Souryu Langley. Top notch Eva pilot. A collage graduate at age 14. Beautiful, brave and strong. There were boys who would kill to get a date with her. And girls who would kill to be her.  
  
And Rei Ayanami didn't care. The lowest of the low in the school hierarchy. With a snowball's chance in hell of finding a date for the school ball. Lacking any life outside Eva. Outdone by Asuka in every way, even at the only thing she was any good at, piloting. And she didn't care. When Asuka taunted her for her poor results, she didn't even shrug. When Asuka beat her rate in every synch test, again and again, she didn't get frustrated. Asuka couldn't get in her face. To Ayanami, Asuka was as important as some no-name off the street.  
  
And that was unacceptable. Asuka wasn't just anyone. She wasn't someone to ignore. Everyone, _everyone_, paid attention to her. Who was Ayanami to think she could be an exception?  
  
---   
  
Thursday, one week after the incident with Ayanami. Asuka was sitting in her room, twiddling with a piece of paper in her hands. It was a math test. They had gotten their results back after lunch. She had received a full mark. Ayanami had failed, the only one in the class to do so. To rub it in, Asuka had asked her if she wanted to trade. Then Ayanami had just watched her with that dead look of hers and said that the teacher wouldn't allow it.   
  
With a snarl Asuka tore her test in two and tossed it in the paper bin. Somewhere inside, a decision that had been growing for the last couple of weeks was finally made.  
  
"Misato!" she called out. After a few moments her guardian poked her head through the door.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I won't be home for dinner tomorrow. Me and Hikari are going to the movies after the synch test."  
  
"Oh. Okay." Misato nodded hesitantly. "I was planning on inviting the Ritsuko over, anyway, and I guess you'll survive without spending the evening having to listen to us chat about old times, eh?"  
  
Asuka gave an amused chuckle.  
"Very much so, yes."  
  
"Thought so. Oh, and dinner's ready in a few minutes."  
  
"You or Shinji cooking?"  
  
Misato gave her a dumbfounded look.  
"Shinji, of course." she said, as if there was no other possibility.  
  
"Right. I'll be there in a second."  
  
Misato nodded, then closed the door and left. When she was well beyond hearing, Asuka grabbed the phone and hit the quick-dial button to Hikari. A few signals went through, then a familiar voice answered.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi, it's me."  
  
"Oh, hi, Asuka. What's up?"  
  
"I need to ask you a favour."  
  
Hikari paused a moment, obviously surprised by the quick approach.  
"What?"  
  
"Well..." Asuka took a deep breath. "You're still going to that party tomorrow, right? At Touji's place?"  
  
"...yeah." Hikari lowered her voice. "I wanted to talk to you about that. See, I've convinced dad that I'm going to the movies with you. He'd go berserk if he knew..."  
  
"Good. Great. Now, if anyone asks, I need you to say that I was with you the entire evening."  
  
There was another surprised pause at the other end.  
"Why wouldn't I? As I said, dad would be..."  
  
"I don't mean just your dad, I mean anyone. If anyone asks, I was with you. At the movies. Watching Cleopatra. Okay?"  
  
"...sure, but why?" Hikari didn't sound very sure.  
  
"Just do this for me, okay?"  
  
"...okay."  
  
"Great. I gotta go, dinner's calling. Bye."  
  
"...bye."  
  
Asuka hung up and sighed. She glanced at the torn rests of her test.   
  
In the novel Frankenstein, the monster says, on the subject of affection, 'If I can't be loved, I will be feared'. Asuka didn't know about the love, but the fear part was just too tempting.  
  
---   
  
Friday afternoon. Asuka was standing in a dark corridor outside the NERV bath, watching Ayanami through the small, high-set windows. The girl was swimming laps on her own, back and forth, back and forth. Ayanami always stayed late after synch tests. This had given rise to all sorts of rumours, most of them involving the commander, but as far as Asuka could tell Ikari had just exchanged a few words with the albino after the test and then left with the others. Since then, nothing exceptional had happened, and Asuka was starting to get quite irritated from waiting. She had been standing out there, more or less hiding, for just under an hour.  
  
The day had passed rather uneventful. Classes had been nothing out of the ordinary. Hikari had asked her once what she was up to, but had then dropped the subject. After all, she needed Asuka as an alibi too, and probably didn't want to bug her friend when she asked to have the favour returned. Asuka had told her that she might drop by the party later. As if. After classes there had been a synch test, and the Children had sat around inside their entry plugs for an hour and a half. Boring, but necessary. Then Misato and Shinji had left, with Dr. Akagi, leaving Asuka behind. She had told them she was going to meet Hikari outside the Geofront, and then walk to the cinema. It wasn't completely unlikely, since the Geofront was more central than Misato's apartment.   
  
Then she had snuck away and waited for Ayanami to finish her solitary swim.   
  
Asuka had half-hoped to catch her doing something improper, but that scenario started to seem more and more unlikely as time wore on. It didn't matter, though. There were more than one way to skin a cat. Certain things would catch anyone's attention, no matter how introvert that person was. Certain things were impossible to ignore.  
  
As Ayanami finally got out of the pool and headed for the locker room, Asuka smiled, a sadistic, determined smile. There were no surveillance cameras in the locker room. She had checked.   
  
The smile faded, leaving only a merciless look in her eyes. Then she swiftly left her place in the corridor, heading for the locker room.  
  
_Try to ignore me now, doll... _  
  
---   
  
Asuka entered Misato's apartment, looking quite different from when she left it that morning. The usual determination in her posture was gone. Her feet were mostly guiding themselves in a slow, unfocused walk. Her schoolbag hung limply from her left hand. Her eyes were staring at a point located roughly five feet in front of her. Asuka's mind was far too busy with other things to be bothered to carry her body with grace.  
  
All in all, things had not really gone as planned.   
  
"Hi, Asuka!"  
  
"Huh?" Asuka blinked, and looked around to find her guardian sitting in the living room with a beer, watching some concerto taking place on TV. "Eh, hi, Misato."  
  
"Ritsuko went home just a few minutes ago. There's some cheese cake left if you want it. Oh, and was the movie good?"  
  
Asuka stared at her guardian for a few seconds.  
  
"Kind of weird ending..." she answered absentmindedly. Then she made her way to her room, missing out on anything else Misato had to say. Closing the door behind her, she sat down on the bed, and continued staring in front of her.  
  
Inside her mind, things were in a frenzy. Things had not gone as planned at all. Up until the moment she entered that locker room, the worst-case scenario had been that Ayanami would prove totally impervious to anything Asuka might do to her. Now she didn't know what the worst-case scenario looked like, because she couldn't make up her mind about whether or not it had just happened.  
  
Her original intent had just been to shock the other girl. Make her scared, or angry. Make her cry, maybe. Force a reaction out of her. Make her realize that Asuka could affect her unimportant little life whether she wanted it or not. That there was no such thing as not having an opinion about Asuka Souryu Langley. That Asuka Souryu Langley's actions had an impact on everyone.  
  
Asuka hadn't realized that 'everyone' included herself.  
  
She studied her own hands in the street light shining in through the window. Slender, beautiful hands. Hands that had never performed any heavy work. They looked so innocent. Yet...  
  
_What have I done? _  
  
No. She shook her head. She knew exactly what she had done. She just wasn't very sure about what had happened. It was all so complicated.   
  
At first, Ayanami had frozen up. As if she had gone into shock. This had only served to strengthen Asuka's resolve, and she had pushed on. Desperate for any kind of reaction, she had been unwilling to stop. Then, as there suddenly was a response, it was not at all what she had been expecting, and Asuka found herself unable to stop. Something must have snapped inside her. She couldn't remember consciously taking the decision to take it all the way, to actually go through with it, yet she had.  
  
_Why did I do it? _  
  
But she knew the answer to that question too. To instil fear into the heart of the only one who didn't care about her. To have Ayanami show proper reverence. To make Ayanami look at her with hate, or anger, or terror. Just anything besides that emotionless face she always wore.  
  
Asuka had known that there was a chance that she wouldn't get away with it afterwards. It was a crime. Ayanami might report her to the commander. It wouldn't have mattered. It would have been a reaction.  
  
But she wasn't going to be reported. For the look on Ayanami face had not been fear or hate. It had been nothing short of complete and utter attention. It was a look Asuka had never seen before, and now she couldn't get it out of her mind. She needed to see that look again. She needed it badly.  
  
---  
  
To be continued...  
  



	2. Chapter 2

********  
No Words  
********  
  
Chapter 2  
  
---  
  
  
  
Rei was still sitting in the locker room, still naked, heart still beating furiously. Her wet hair ruffled, her skin a little less pale than usual. Confusion could be seen in her face, if one knew what signs to look for. Her white hands were cupped in front of her, holding something. She could still not make heads or tails of the recent events. Her life was not as simple as it had been two hours ago.  
  
For the first time in her young life, someone had shown her real, physical attention. Someone had touched her, not just by accident, but willingly. Someone...  
  
_A sudden presence in the shower with her. Two hands on her body. A glimpse of red hair. A warm breath against her neck. _  
  
At that instant, her mind had frozen up. Rei was used to think before reacting, and this was too sudden, too unexpected. She had found herself unable to respond to this strange situation. Her breath had caught in her throat, her entire body had tensed up. She had wanted to speak, but couldn't form any words.  
  
And then Souryu's hands had started to move, and all that tension had suddenly found a focus.  
  
Rei had no idea of what had happened. Well, of course she did know what had been done. She might be introvert, but she wasn't ignorant. She knew what Souryu had done to her. She knew how she had reacted. Only...she had no idea what it meant.   
  
Souryu hadn't said a single word. Maybe if she had, Rei's mind could have snapped back into action. Regained control of her body. Maybe...  
  
_Fingers tracing over her skin. A storm of unfamiliar emotions assaulting her mind, drowning out any conscious thought. _  
  
...maybe words wouldn't have mattered. These emotions had been strong, so very strong. Emotions she had never felt before. Emotions, something she normally wouldn't be bothered with. Now she couldn't chase them out of her head.  
  
Rei looked down at her hands. Pale, almost white, with nails cut short. Up until now, nothing but a convenient pair of tools. Held between them was a single strand of silken red hair.   
  
_A gasp, a shudder. An overwhelming sensation rushing through her. _  
  
The sight of the red hair made her breath tremble and her pulse quicken. A strange, tingling feeling in her chest grew a little stronger. This feeling had been with her since Souryu left. She felt excited and nervous at the same time. There was a yearning somewhere inside her. A yearning for...for...  
  
_...emotions. _  
  
She blinked twice. For the first time in her life, she felt like she needed to think with her heart. And her heart was confused.   
  
Staring off into a place only she could see, Rei pressed the strand of hair against her chest.  
  
---   
  
Monday, after lunch. Asuka was sitting at her desk, staring at the flat, green surface. Hikari was next to her, talking about something, but Asuka didn't really pay attention. It had been the strangest weekend of her life. Her mind had been someplace else completely, replaying over and over again what had happened. She had even dreamt about it. That had been...unnerving.  
  
She had woken up, soaking with sweat and hearing Ayanami's hurried breath in her ears. Then, still groggy and confused, she had grabbed the phone with the intent to call Ayanami. Now, afterwards, she had no idea what she would have said. Somehow realizing she didn't know the number, she had instead dialled up Hikari and would probably have confessed all of it to her, if it hadn't been her father answering the phone and demanding to know what the hell she wanted in the middle of the night.  
  
Now she was back in the same classroom as Ayanami, and the albino's presence was like a red-hot needle in her mind. Impossible to ignore. And later, after the synch test, they were going to be back in the locker room...  
  
Asuka found herself staring at Ayanami, who was in turn staring out the windows. Quickly, she jerked her head around and focused once more on the top of her desk. This unconscious staring had happened several times already. Embarrassing, considering Ayanami was sitting two rows behind and to the left of Asuka.   
  
Asuka felt she wasn't in control of herself, and it was driving her nuts. She had to remain calm. There would be no more staring. Nothing had happened. Things were normal. Ayanami was just... She just...  
  
_She just might look back. _  
  
Again, Asuka's eyes involuntarily sought out Ayanami. And found a pair of red eyes staring back.   
  
The rest of the world disappeared.   
  
That look again, looking at her like she was the only living creature in the world. Focusing on her, and her alone. Attention. Complete attention.  
  
_I need that. _  
  
An eternity passed. Slowly, the world made its way back. Hikari was asking her something.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I said, are you alright?" Her friend was watching her with a concerned look. "You've been zoning out a lot today."  
  
Chasing strange images from her mind, Asuka pulled a hand through her hair and feigned a cool smile.  
"I'm fine."  
  
A minute later she glanced back, but Ayanami was once again staring out through the windows.   
  
---   
  
Wednesday morning. Not a word had passed between Asuka and Ayanami since the previous Thursday. Nothing had happened between them since that shared look on Monday. And Asuka was starting to feel like she was on the verge of a breakdown. She couldn't concentrate. She was jumpy and irritable. And she was nervous. The wrong kind of nervous. Nervous like she was waiting for something to happen. Only it didn't.   
  
This inner confusion was hard to hide. Hikari was starting to suspect something, and Misato had already noticed. She had seriously asked Asuka if she was doing any drugs. Though it didn't take much to convince her otherwise, (after all, anything out of the ordinary was bound to show up on all the tests the Children underwent) it was still weird to have her ask. Asuka needed to get a grip on herself. It was scary to have her guardian think she might be a junkie. Asuka, who hadn't even smoked a cigarette in her entire life.   
  
_I just can't stop thinking of Ayanami's eyes. _  
  
She had found herself fantasizing about jumping Ayanami in the corridor, in front of everyone. The thought had been hard to let go.   
  
Now they were having biology, and Asuka was doing her best to stay focused on the task at hand, namely putting drops of liquid from various vials onto small glass discs. It had something to do with bacteria. It was probably terribly interesting. She took a vial, unscrewed the cork, carefully withdrew some of its contents with a pipette and with equal care placed a drop from it on the tiny rectangle of glass on her desk. Then she put a small square of plastic on top of the drop, pressed gently, and put the prepared sample to the side. Then she repeated the entire procedure. It was comfortably mind-numbing.  
  
Suddenly she felt Hikari's elbow nudging her in the side, and realized that the entire classroom was silent. Looking up, she saw the teacher watching her intently.  
  
"What?" she snapped.  
  
"I was saying," the man said, probably repeating himself for the third time, "that we need microscopes. They are placed in two white boxes in the basement, and I want a volunteer to go and get them for me. You have just volunteered, miss Souryu."  
  
"What?!" Asuka exclaimed once more. This was not what she needed right now. "Why me?!"  
  
"It was decided on the democratic principle that you were the only one still staring at the table after I called for the class's attention. Now, please?" He held out a key towards Asuka.  
  
Sensing more objections would not help her case, she glanced around the classroom. Everyone was looking at her. Ayanami too. Asuka's eyes lingered just a moment longer than appropriate before she snatched the offered key and stormed out of the room.  
  
A few seconds later, the albino rose from her seat, said something about helping, and left. The teacher, being as surprised as his students, made no objections.  
  
---   
  
The basement was the school's storage. Anything that couldn't be put to an immediate use ended up down there. It was therefore crammed with all sorts of stuff, from old desks to last year's Christmas decorations. An ancient light bulb spread a yellowish glow from the far end of the room.  
  
Souryu was shuffling things around in an angered manner when Rei came down the stairs. The white boxes were placed at the bottom of a large pile of other, heavy-looking boxes. The Second Child was not being gentle in relocating them.  
  
For a moment Rei stood in the doorway, watching the back of the fiery girl as she aggressively dug her way through the boxes. She had no idea what she was doing down here, only a vague notion that she had to talk to Souryu about...about Friday night.  
  
Rei took a few steps forward. The red-head was so concentrated on her work that she obviously didn't hear her approaching. Gathering up her courage, the pale girl reached out and put a hand on Souryu's arm.  
  
The other girl froze up. Her hand hovered an inch above one of the boxes, trembling slightly. She was glancing down at the white hand resting on her arm. A few, tense seconds passed. Then, she grabbed Rei's hand and spun around, staring at the albino. Rei gasped and took a step back, completely at loss to the rage of emotions she saw in those blue eyes. For a panicked second she thought Souryu was going to hurt her.  
  
Then their lips connected, and Souryu brought them both to the floor.  
  
It took them half an hour to find those microscopes.   
  
---  
  
To be continued...  
  



	3. Chapter 3

********  
No Words  
********  
  
Chapter 3  
  
---  
  
  
  
Commander Ikari and Rei were sitting at the small NERV cafeteria, sharing a modest dinner. They met like this a few times a week. This was not a widely known habit, since neither Ikari or Rei were very sociable and few people paid any attention to what they did on their own time. Dr. Akagi knew, though, and had discretely pointed out that maybe the commander was spending an inappropriate amount of time on the girl. After all, rumours were already buzzing around, and the two of them being seen together after working hours would hardly help matters.   
  
But none of them had anyone else. Rei was raised at NERV. Her closest relatives were floating in a tank of LCL in the depths of the Geofront. And the commander was...well, he was the commander.   
  
To Rei he was a father of sorts, even more so than he was to his own son, the Third Child. A cold and distanced father, maybe, but then Rei was a cold and distanced daughter. They shared a silent friendship, and neither of them could have cared less about what was being whispered in the corridors about them.  
  
Tonight, Ikari could see Rei had something on her mind. Having known the introvert girl long enough, he could read the discrete signs in her behaviour. She was shuffling her food around on her plate, and she spoke very little, even less than usual. Her thoughts were busy elsewhere. But he wouldn't ask her about it. If there was something she wanted to say, she would do so in time.  
  
In another couple of minutes Rei placed her sticks neatly side by side on the plate, thus officially ending her meal. Then she looked up at the commander, who met her eyes. None of them found the prolonged eye contact uncomfortable or embarrassing.  
  
"Commander," she said. She never addressed him as anything else. "how do you know when you're in love?"  
  
_Ah. The issue with boys. _  
  
Ikari nodded inwardly. Of course, it was just to be expected. She was growing up. Her hormones should be running rampart. He smiled a little, and his thoughts wandered to when he had himself met the one and only love of his life.   
  
"It will be the strangest feeling you will ever have felt." he said, after thinking a few seconds. His voice softened as his eyes looked back through the years. "You feel very nervous whenever she is around, yet you feel that you need to be near her all the time. When she isn't around, everything seems empty and meaningless. You find yourself smiling a silly smile when you think about her. And there's this...hole," he held a hand against his chest, "in your heart, that can only be filled by holding her close." He then silenced, images of the past dancing through his mind.  
  
Had any of his subordinates heard this tirade, they would not have recognised the commander. He was generally held for a sullen bastard. But there was one subject that Ikari would talk about with passion, and that subject was love. After all, that was, in the end, why he became the commander of NERV.  
  
Rei nodded, barely visible, and lowered her eyes.  
  
Ikari, sensing that this was not the end of the matter, decided to ask the big question.  
"Are you in love, Rei?"  
  
Hesitantly, an answer came.  
"I think so."  
  
"Who?"  
  
There was a pause, then:   
"Pilot Souryu."  
  
Ikari blinked. He usually prided himself with being impossible to surprise, but this came pretty damn close.  
  
_This is going to affect the scenario. _ he thought. Then : _At least she can't get pregnant. _  
  
"Is it wrong?" There was the slightest hint of desperation in the girl's voice. "I know it's not normal..."  
  
The commander quickly gathered himself, realizing that what Rei needed right now was approval more than anything else.  
  
"No, no. It's not wrong. It's just...not usual." Pausing, Ikari looked at his young protégé. She had never seemed nervous before, but now she did. "Does Asuka know?"  
  
Rei slowly looked up. Her lips moved, but no words came. Then, finally, she said:  
"I don't know..."  
  
---   
  
Asuka woke up with a surprised gasp. Sitting up, she shoot a quick look at her bedside clock. She had to be up in two hours. With a sigh she fell back into bed.  
  
That dream again. Only, this time it hadn't been so upsetting. In fact, it had felt...welcome.   
  
Too tired to think about what this meant, Asuka fell asleep once more.  
  
---   
  
In a small apartment a few blocks away, Rei too was woken by a dream. For a few confused moments she stared at the ceiling, trying to remember what it had all been about.  
  
She had been pulled under the water, but for some reason she hadn't tried to get up. She had felt strangely...detached. She hadn't cared about drowning. She could also remember blue eyes, looking at her. Hypnotizing her.  
  
Feeling lonely for the first time in her life, Rei curled up in bed and tried to go back to sleep.  
  
---   
  
Thursday afternoon. Rei was walking down an empty school corridor. Most other students had either gone home or were attending afternoon classes. Rei had no more classes today, but there were synch tests after school, and that was an hour away. So now she walked aimlessly through the corridors, hoping to maybe run into those blue eyes that haunted her dreams.  
  
They had still not exchanged a single word, and Souryu had seemed to be consciously avoiding her all day. Rei's mind wasn't used to handling all the emotions now associated with the other girl. She felt ignored, and it made her sad. It also made her nervous in a way she couldn't quite define, as if at any time she'd wake up and find it all just a dream.  
  
She had to talk to Souryu. Maybe call her today after the tests. Tell her how she felt. Or maybe she should wait, maybe ask the commander for some advice. Or she could write it down, leave a note in Souryu's locker. Or...  
  
Lost in her thoughts, Rei failed to see the figure standing in the doorway to an empty classroom, until a slender hand suddenly reached out, grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her inside. Her surprised yelp was quickly silenced by a mouth covering hers.  
  
The door slid shut, and was locked from the inside.  
  
---   
  
That Friday passed in mostly the same fashion as the last one, only this time it didn't surprise either of them nearly as much.  
  
---   
  
It was Monday once again. Now more than a week had passed. Still no words had been spoken. Asuka hadn't relaxed for a second during the weekend. Her concentration had quickly deteriorated. Although she couldn't remember any of her dreams clearly, she was pretty sure about their contents. She had also found herself being unable to think about anything but Ayanami's blood red eyes, that strange blue hair, her pale skin...  
  
And now Ayanami wasn't at school.   
  
What Asuka felt at this wasn't really disappointment. It wasn't really irritation either. It did upset her greatly, though. It wasn't what she expected. It wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't what she _needed. _  
  
It was lunchtime. Asuka was sitting in a corner by herself in the school yard, feeling edgy. Maybe Ayanami would show up after lunch. At least she had to be there for the tests at NERV. Ayanami never missed out on the synch tests. Well, not often, anyway.  
  
"Hey, Asuka," a cheerful voice exclaimed, "so here's where you're hiding!" Hikari was making her way towards Asuka. She was carrying a small bento. Asuka greeted her with an absentminded nod as the class rep seated herself next to her. After settling down, Hikari went on. "Say, why did you sneak of by yourself?"   
  
"I just..." Asuka pulled a hand through her hair. "I just felt like being alone for a while. But it's alright now."  
  
"Asuka." Hikari's voice suddenly turned serious. "Is something wrong? You know you can talk to me."  
  
_Not you too. _  
  
"What?" Asuka tried to smile, but somehow failed halfway. "Why would anything be wrong?"  
  
"I'm your friend, Asuka." Hikari leaned a little closer. "I've noticed how you've been acting lately."  
  
"C'mon! 'I've noticed how you've been acting...'You sound like Misato. It's nothing, really."  
  
"It's _nothing_? You've been completely out of focus for a week! You don't pay attention to things, like you're in a world of your own! You disappear without saying a word! And the way you acted during biology last week! And don't tell me it's that time of the month, I know you too well. You're acting weird." Hikari paused. "And you don't talk to me anymore..."  
  
Asuka looked up, and saw the pain in her friend's eyes.  
"Hikari, I..."  
  
_I what? _  
  
"...I can't explain, not right now, but..."  
  
"What? What is it you can't explain?"  
  
Asuka took a deep breath, and thought for a few seconds before she spoke.  
"Look, I know you're concerned, alright? And I appreciate that. But...this is very personal. And I'm fine! Really. I'm not being abused, or doing drugs or anything like that. I'm fine. And...and I'll tell you about it sometime, okay? Just not right now."  
  
There was silence between them for a while, then Hikari reached out and took Asuka's hand in hers.  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm here if you want to talk about it."  
  
"I know. I know."  
  
---   
  
Ayanami hadn't been at the synch test. Asuka sat watching the giant form of Unit 02, feeling like she had been cheated of something. Shinji was already in the shower.  
  
Commander Ikari stood some way off talking to Dr. Akagi. He hadn't said a word about Ayanami's whereabouts, which meant he probably already knew why she wasn't present. After all, he was the only one who cared to keep track of the unpredictable albino girl.  
  
_Well, until recently the only one. _  
  
Asuka got to her feet, and walked over, placing herself at a respectable distance from the commander and the doctor. As he finished, and Dr. Akagi left, Asuka approached him.  
"Excuse me, commander?"  
  
"Pilot Souryu." He turned around, as if expecting her. "What can I do for you?"  
  
Asuka hesitated, suddenly nervous under the man's cool gaze.  
  
_Discrete. Be discrete. _  
  
"Where was Ayanami today? I sort of missed the competition."  
  
"She's not feeling well. I relieved her of her duties for today. She is at her residence."  
  
"Oh." Pause. "Okay...thank you, commander."  
  
Just as Asuka turned to leave, the commander said, as if pointing out a fact:  
"She might appreciate a visitor."  
  
---   
  
Asuka sat in the living room sofa, zapping aimlessly between TV channels. She actually had homework to do, but she couldn't concentrate on it. She hadn't seen Ayanami at all today. Shinji was fixing up dinner, but Asuka didn't feel very hungry. Food wasn't what she wanted right now.  
  
With an sigh she turned off the TV and threw the remote down on the sofa next to her. Then she sat, staring into the blank screen, trying to reach some sort of conclusion.  
  
_I know what I need. _  
  
Ten seconds later she was in her room, trying to find an address book and a street map.  
  
---   
  
Her apartment was a tiny thing, barely more than a bedroom and a closet. Rei had spent the entire day there. She wasn't sick, or tired, an otherwise valid excuse to skip school. It had just taken longer than she thought to gather up the courage she needed. This morning she had made up her mind to get to school at lunch, so she could talk to Souryu during the break. She would use the time until then to come up with what to say.  
  
Then, all of a sudden, it was twelve o'clock and Rei wasn't a bit more prepared than at eight. So she had waited a few more hours, intent on catching Souryu after today's synch test.  
  
Then she had got nervous, and called up the commander, telling him she was unfit to participate in any tests today. He had reminded her to not forget about her duties, but had otherwise not made a big issue of it.   
  
Now she was planning on calling Souryu. Any minute now. She just needed a little more time first. Or...maybe the phone wasn't suitable. Maybe they should have this conversation face to face. Tomorrow. After school.  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
Surprised, Rei got up from the bed where she had been lying. She never had any visitors, besides occasionally commander Ikari, and that once when the Third Child had been over. It was probably the commander, come to check on her.  
  
_But it might be her. _  
  
The door slid open. Rei's heart skipped a beat.  
  
_It is._  
  
---   
  
Twenty minutes later. None of them had said anything. They were both in Rei's bed, the sheets ruffled. Their breath had returned to normal, and they now lay close, staring into each other's eyes.   
  
Asuka was at peace, the day's nervousness and frustration swept away. Those red eyes were locked with hers once more, noticing her every motion, paying attention to nothing else.  
  
_I can't get enough of those eyes. _  
  
Rei's heart was fluttering in her chest. Once again those blue eyes had hypnotized her. Once again that touch had chased away all conscious thought.   
  
_I must tell her. _  
  
Asuka cupped Rei's face in her hands, leaning closer. As a pair of lips brushed against hers, Rei whispered:  
  
"I love you..."  
  
Asuka pulled back, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open.  
  
_Love? _  
  
This wasn't what she had imagined, that Friday afternoon an eternity ago. Was this right? No, not love. It couldn't possibly... Didn't the poor girl know the difference between sex and love? Love wasn't what she wanted. Just...attention. Recognition. That's what she had been searching for. That was what she had found. This wasn't love. This was just...  
  
Tears were slowly forming in those red eyes, tears of relief from finally having confessed, tears from the confusion she still felt inside.  
  
"I love you." Rei whispered again.  
  
Asuka stared into her eyes.   
  
_She's crying. Wondergirl's crying. For me. _  
  
...complete and utter attention. A need she couldn't explain. Something she couldn't live without. And finally, it dawned on Asuka exactly what it all meant. Exactly what she had seen in those red eyes that Friday in the locker room.  
  
"Rei."  
  
The girl blinked through her tears, looking lost and confused. Asuka gently placed finger on top of her lips.  
  
"Hush."  
  
She needed no words.  
  
---  
  
The End  
  



End file.
